ok, long time no see huh? so i have new pics of me and my boyfriend and of me being vain. and guess what. i just got out of a physchiatric care hospital for depression, anorexia, bulimia, self-injury, and attempted suicide. yeah, i tried to kill my self. just 3 weeks ago. i got sent to the hospital, got my stomach pumped and got sent to the insanitarium. i havent gotten drunk or stoned since i got out of the place but ive been smoking like a retard....
the only thing that got me out of that hospital is my one and only true love...he came all the way from connecticut to see me and convince me to get out. otherwise, i would have been sent to a girls group home...i thought i wanted to do it, but i guess edy(boyfriend) changed it all. he makes my life worth living and i cant believe that im with a guy like him. he's way too good to be true. i guess thats all i have 2day..ill clue u in when something juicy happens!

ok, heres the answer to graffiti or whatever you name is, go ahead, you can post whatever you want. its your life, not mine...

anyway, back yo my life, why is it that when i cut, all the "proffesionals" think im looking for attention or something?
cant i just cut to feel the pain? or releive my stress?
ok, i know its not the best thing to do for stress but its the only way that works for me. ive tried alot ofother stuff like "taking a warm bath (razors in the tub), listining to music (broken cds are sharp) and other shyt....
ok i do all this because of an abusive and deprived childhood...
my "mom" used to beat me till i was on my knees over a little thing. i called DCFS 2 times and they said it was provoked because i hit back.. BULLSHIT! i hit back in self defense!
just recently about a month ago, she beat me cause i ditched school...
and we got into an arguement because she kept telling me how everything was my fault. "your a peice of shit, its all your fault im in this position. without you i would be so much happier."
she said to me and she's been verbally abusing me for years now, only cause im bigger than her now and i could easily kick her ass.
its all because of her that i have such low self esteem, and am so confused about who i am. i was convinced that i was a slut, a fat ugly bitch, and then i got older and others are like, "OH YOUR SO PRETTY" bull....
see i dont know what to think or do. thats why i go to self injury cause im like dumb to everything else....
all my peers and teachers at school are like " why are you depressed"
i dont even know if im depressed?!
im like numb to every thing now. like happy stuff, just stuff to me.
songs dont have a beat, words have no meaning, smiles dont linger, time stands still, and books have no story.
im so numb to everything around me. ok, i know whats goin on and i hear and under stand them, they just dont seem to faze me at all...
whats wrong with me? i ask myself this all the time and fails to be answered. i fight battles in my mind everyday and always seem to lose. ive tried commiting suicide 4 times and failed... i did it because i felt i had no use in this world. even though i believe every one has their purpose, i felt i was different. but then i lived and maybe i did have a purpose, then back to the drawing board it was where i would try to dieagain because i felt i was a mistake...

hey, how old are you any way and why dont you have any pics of YOU in your gallery?!
so, ok, i cut cause that is how i cope with my feelings.
its hard to talk to people around here cause i have a hard time trusting... i had a really bad and abusive childhood and its hard to get over it. so this is my way of doing so..
tell me about yourself...
and maybe ill tell you more about me

ok, so. im real stressed about everything and anything. i dont know why but i cut yet again. this is how i cope with things. how do you feel about self injury? does it make you squeel? well if it does, your on the wrong blog. because this is what you might be reading once in while. if you want to talk about it fine, i will listne and give advice. if you want to bullshit me about it, i honestly dont care. i may sound cocky and arrogant but if you are readingmy blogs, you probably are interested in what i have to say. any who, im 15 and i live in chicago, im filipina, brazilian, puerto rican and bolivian. weird mix, cuz look at how i came out! haha
ok, i go to st. scholastica academey and im a freshman. people may think of me as goth, punk and an ass sometimes. but i can be real sweet when i wanna! lol
anyway if you wanna see how i look go to VAMPIREFREAKS.COM and look for HUGGY_BUGGY there i will be!

uh, yeah, title says it...
anyway, my name is michelle and people think im gothic, but actually im everything from goth to ghetto to punk, to retro, to preppy, to anything you can think of. well what i wear expresses how i feel.
sometimes. somtimes i like to see the look on peoples faces when i where all black and black lipstick. then some times i wanna see how different guys would treat me if i wore something sexier...
any way im 14 and im gonna be 15 this coming october 8!